Disclaimer 1: As the wedding season gets into full swing for the summer brides of 2024, most of you who fall into this category won't have time to read my blog even if you wanted to. So, I won't worry about you feeling left out by a topic that no longer applies (but that doesn't mean you can't forward it to a friend who is just about to start the planning process herself!) Disclaimer 2: If you've ever heard or, even better, seen the Broadway musical "Hamilton" by Lin-Manuel Miranda, you'll enjoy this blog title a lot more. If you haven't, do yourself a favor and watch it. I think it's still on Disney+. Since I know you've now been holding your breath through two paragraphs to find out the subject of this blog, let me encourage you to exhale. We'll be talking about words, specifically those on your invitations. (And speaking of breathing, let me encourage you to take several long, slow, deep breaths daily during all of this wedding planning stuff. It'll give you lots of practice for the big day so that hyperventilating won't be one of the memories you'll have to look back on.) One of the fun features of a wedding in this modern era is the freedom to step outside the boundaries of "the correct way to do things" and not be thought strange by your peers. Notice that I used the word peers ; your parents and grandparents might still have trouble wrapping their heads around your decisions. Please remember to be kind when you're explaining your choices. And give them time to adapt! But no matter how much work you want to put in to being creative with your color choices, flowers, location, decorations, ceremony music, etc., the wording on your wedding invitation doesn't have to take up as much brain power as you may think. Actually it may be one of the easier decisions you have to make, especially if you let The Bride's Secretary (me!) help you with that. What makes it easier? Well, your choices are essentially limited. Now before you close this window in disgust because I've offended your right to do things differently from every other bride, let me explain. You're limited by real estate. Because you're limited by real estate, you're limited to the number of [legible] words. Because you're limited to the number of words, you're limited to the information you can include There. Feel better? The limitations were not as horrible as you thought. Even with all the creative options out there, I've yet to come across an invitation that falls into the same category as a high school English paper - 500 typed words, double-spaced with 1 inch margins in 11 point font. You have one small-ish card to spell out the important details of your big day: who, when and where. (Obviously your guests will need some additional details spelled out but that's what your insert card or wedding website is for. If that all goes on your invitations, your guests won't want to read them at all.) Who, when and where. It's the same information whether your invitation is formal or casual, traditional or whimsical. You've invested so much time designing your invites to suit your style as a couple. So design your who, when and where verbiage to be complementary. What does that look like? Let's say you're planning on your wedding being a black tie affair. Your invitation is probably going to be clean and minimal, possibly black and white with gold foil for example. If so, it'll look best to use formal wording, such as writing out numbers and full names. Dr. & Mrs. Ian Fleming request your presence at the wedding of their daughter Susan Abigail to Loren James son of Mr. & Mrs. Jim Button on Friday, May Thirty-first, Two thousand and twenty-four at Six thirty in the evening Wedding and reception to be held at Memorial Presbyterian Church One thousand and nine Elmhurst Lane Plover, Wisconsin Harking back to Hamilton, that's probably how his contemporaries would have worded it in a handwriting we might find illegible today. But if your wedding invitation vibes with your beach destination wedding, the same information may be written differently. Ian and Jackie Fleming and Jim and Kaylene Button parents of Susan Abigail and Loren James invite you to join the wedding celebration of their children on Friday, May 31, 2024 6:30 pm Vista Victoria Resort Playa del Carmen Mexico Sometimes it's not about HOW you word it a certain way, it's about WHY you word it a certain way. Back when I was a [young] bride, more often than not, the parents of the bride paid for the wedding and so the invitations were actually coming from them and the wording indicated that. However, a vast majority of today's couples are paying for the lion's share of the wedding themselves, if not all of it. So the formality of listing parents' names might fall away. Together with their families Susan and Loren invite you to join them for their wedding celebration on Friday, May 31, 2024 6:30 pm Memorial Presbyterian Church 1009 Elmhurst Lane Plover, WI Wording like this, or even simpler (below), also helps when listing parents would take up half the invitation because it includes several stepparents. Susan and Loren would love to have you join them at their wedding on Friday, May 31, 2024 6:30 pm Memorial Presbyterian Church Plover, WI Recently, I've come across some fun and even funny wording that totally encapsulates the personality of the couple and/or their wedding. But the important information itself remains the same: who, when, where . So whether formal or casual, classic or modern, make sure your invitations have all the information your guest will need. In fact, if you're starting this whole process and you'd like some guidance, send me an email and we'll talk. (Take it a step further: make a reference to "Hamilton" in your email and I'll apply a 20% discount to your order of either the Silver all-in-one package or the Premium design level.) If you're a bride beginning your planning process, give yourself a wedding gift ~ hire The Bride's Secretary. Together we'll create a beautiful stationery suite that reflects your wedding style and sets the tone for your special day. P.S. I think I'll do some research on some examples of those humorous invitations to share with you at a later time. Just because it'll be fun to read. And I'm all about fun - most days at least!

Free Advice is Love Without the Calories! Even though we've probably never met, my heart wants every part of your wedding to be all you hope it will be. Seriously, I do. I want you to look back a few years from now and find yourself thinking, "Our wedding day was so much fun!" Now, I can't help you with picking the dress, decorating your venue, creating your guest list, arranging your flowers and so much more. Don't get me wrong - I love weddings so much that I wish I could help you with all those things. But I think it's safer for everyone if I stick to my area of expertise. So in the generous spirit of it being almost Valentine's Day and the fact that I just found out I'm going to be a grandma again, here's some free advice for wedding invitations and things you should know about your wedding stationery. Templates - don't ever order any of your invitations and such using someone else's template UNTIL you've printed and reviewed a paper copy for yourself . I don't care if you get something from Pinterest, edit something in Canva or customize a template at one of the online companies like Zazzle... print a hard copy first . Just because it looks good on your screen (where you can zoom in) doesn't mean that it will look good printed. Ask yourself: Is the font so fancy that it's not legible? Can the font be read at that size? Does the contrast between the font color and the background make reading clear and simple? Don't assume that all printing companies are created equal. Just because they have a splashy website doesn't mean their paper and printing are excellent quality, even if they're really expensive. Most reputable invitation companies will offer free samples . Take advantage of that. Don't print the first invitation you "create." There's a reason that the vast majority of brides don't buy the first dress they try on, regardless of their level of excitement. Unless you're getting married in a month and the invitations needed to go out yesterday, slow down for the following reasons: Has everyone and their brother proofread it for spelling or grammatical errors? Do you have a better-than-rough idea of your guest list so you order the correct amount - and NOT more than you need? (Common mistake.) Have the most important vendors been secured already? Accurate times and locations are a must for your guests. Stay away from dark envelopes. I know they're beautiful and add elegance but if you have to use a white, gold or silver pen to address your envelopes because black can't be seen, you run the risk of problems at the post office. Their machines are calibrated to more easily read dark ink on light paper. It doesn't have to be white, but definitely light. After all...it's only an envelope! Save all the class and elegance and special touches for the invitation that's inside. You don't have to hand-address every envelope but stay away from labels; that's just tacky! Run each one individually through a quality printer with a simple handwritten font. If you're mailing invitations that also include an enclosure and RSVP card or have fancy embellishments, make sure you get it weighed before you put postage on. A first class stamp will usually suffice for your average invitation suite but if your card stock is thicker than usual or you have added things like ribbons or wax seals, you don't want everything being returned due to insufficient postage. If you're sending magnetic Save the Date cards or Invitations and you deposit a stack of those in one of the blue post office boxes on the street corner, make sure you open the deposit door a second time. Magnets can get stuck to the inside of the door. Kinda funny, but true! Do you still have questions about your stationery suite that haven't been answered here? Then take a moment and drop me an email . I'll answer every inquiry I receive. Maybe the information included in this post has made you cognizant of the fact that there's a lot more to invitation suites than you realized. Don't panic! You hire a DJ because he has his own sound equipment and knows how to run it - that's HIS job! Similarly, you hire a secretary to take all this "printing and secretarial stuff" off your plate. That's MY job. And I'd be happy to provide you with a delicious and free, no-obligation quote . Just as good as Valentine's candy...without all the calories. Happy Valentine's Day!

Is it really almost Valentine's Day? It can't really be February, can it? And worse, can it really be 2 months since my last blog post? Christmas, a wedding, 3 trade shows and several new customers...whew! No wonder it flew by. And if you're planning a wedding, you might be experiencing the same thing. Time is flying by at an incredible speed! So what are you doing to keep yourself from being so overwhelmed that you'd rather cancel everything and just elope? Most of you will say, "A TO-DO LIST! Duh!" But who is the one staying on top of that list? Some of you have parents or siblings or a bridal party that's really invested in helping with that list. Others will say, "Divide and conquer...my fiancé and I split all the aspects of the wedding down the middle and we each know what we're responsible for." (Considering that my DH said, "Tell me what to wear and when to show up," splitting the to-do list gets my sincerest admiration!) Full disclaimer: it wasn't that my DH didn't care; he just had no strong feelings about the details one way or the other. And I did go ahead and marry him so obviously it didn't bother me...or I'm more of a control freak than I think I am. Hmmm... Regardless of how you (and whomever) take on the planning, a timeline of deadlines becomes your constant companion. I could list a small sampling here but I'm afraid some of you may need a Xanax if I do and I don't wish that on anyone, especially an excited and nervous bride. Managing and executing the timeline for Save the Date cards, invitations and other printed products is a fun part of what I do. Yup, I said fun! I don't know if I enjoy it because I'm just weird that way or if I just love to take one area of stress off a couples' plates. A part of the organization that's necessary if you plan to have any guests but nowhere near as much fun as shopping for the perfect dress or taste-testing at local bakeries. And here's how I do it. I start every day with a review of each couples' organization chart that I've created for them. When I see that a printer or mailing deadline is approaching, I reach out with a gentle reminder of the next steps - sometimes they need to make a final decision on a design we've worked on or sometimes they need to finish getting me their guest list. Either way, I know I'm helping and that means everything. Case in point. One of my couples have a May 17 wedding and so last week I sent a reminder email that we still needed to finalize the guest list and information for the RSVP and enclosure cards that will go in the envelope with the invitations. Here was her response: "Always a work in progress! I will send them your way this week. So many deadlines to keep up with for school and wedding so thanks for the reminders...relieving some of the stress is definitely what you're doing." Insert deep, happy sigh here on my end and hopefully on hers! In a nutshell - I love what I do. So what about you? Are you stressing over designs and printing and mailing deadlines? I invite you to take a deep breath...and then call or text me (715-340-2999) or send me an email . Think about it. Haven't you always wanted to say something like, "My secretary is handling that?" Well now you can. The Bride's Secretary is the wedding gift you give yourself . And I promise to treat my role as YOUR personal secretary with the greatest attention to detail. I want you to look back over the entire wedding planning experience and decide that The Bride's Secretary was one of the best wedding vendors you hired. Let's chat!

"On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me - five golden rings!" Did you immediately find yourself beginning to hum that (I want to say weird) Christmas song? C'mon, what on earth do you do with eight maids a-milking anyway? Weird, right? Or wait... maybe... I do live in the dairy state after all...hmmm. But I digress. Squirrel! Weddings conjure up images of stunning engagement rings and wedding bands to go along with them. But five? Despite what the song says, you don't need FIVE golden wedding rings from your true love (although as someone who loves rings, a variety of them is always appreciated; I do have 10 fingers after all!) With the knowledge that no two people have the exact same DNA and, without having taken a college statistics class, I'd wager it's a safe bet that the variety in rings is pretty HUGE. Some of you love the notice-it-across-the-room diamonds. That's awesome. Truth be known, more of us might fall into that category if we had longer fingers and better-paying jobs. But for a lot of brides, less is more - just as beautiful but more on the understated side. I actually like that phrase: Less is More. I think I've moved more in that direction myself over the years. I loved collecting knick-knacks and hanging art or photos on every open wall space when we were first married but as we continued to collect children , a clean, simple look became easier to manage. Less is more is also MY preference when it comes to stationery design - but, have no fear, I'm designing for YOU, not me. So we can go as wild and wonderful as you want, understanding there will be some professional advice from me along the way that you're certainly welcome to ignore! But More Is More also applies to save the date cards and invitations in a different way. No, not putting every detail of the wedding you can think of ON the invitation. It's about the invitation itself. I've seen a lot of social media posts recently inquiring about WHEN invitations should be sent out. I've even given some input on this in previous posts (see To Save or Not To Save , Your Date Is Worth Saving and Wedding Calendar Freebie .) But I also see a lot of posts asking about sending digital versus paper invitations, a really important question borne out of the cost of paper and postage. I GET IT! We just sent out my son and FDIL's save the date cards and we went the route of a postcard to save money on paper AND postage. We live in a digital world and most of the couples falling into the current demographic of young adults getting married have never known life without access to the World! Wide! Web! (Hey MOBs and MOGs, remember when we had to add that abbreviation at the beginning when we gave out a website address?) So, in relation to wedding invitations, you should be looking at more is more, i.e. use every channel to communicate. You may have tech-savvy grandparents and great aunts and uncles who can process a digital invitation - either through their email or text or whatever and RSVP on your website via the handy-dandy QR code you create. But what about those who can't? Those people do exist you know. Do they just not get a written invitation at all because you're trying to be careful with your budget? Why does it have to be only one or the other? Why can't it be both and still be budget friendly? More is...More. This really isn't as confusing as it sounds. It's actually why I do what I do. Consider this: Create your guest list Decide which guests would really benefit more from paper invitations Once you've flagged those, sort them into family groups (e.g. husband & wife) Make sure you only order enough paper invitations (that match your digital ones) for those groupings. (Common error: if your paper-only guest list is 35, you may end up only needing 25 invitations because you'll be sending to couples, not each individual) Isn't it worth spending a few dollars to make sure EVERYONE gets an invitation in a way they can appreciate it? So that you're not snubbing those who can't handle a digital one? And it doesn't cost anything to send digital ones to your full list ; it means that some people will get the invitations in multiple ways = More is More . Personally, I think it's just nicer and more appropriate to send out paper invitations to everyone. It's worth the cost for so many reasons. When was the last time you got a piece of snail mail that wasn't a bill or an ad? How did that make you feel? Yup, I bet it went on the fridge somehow. But it still doesn't have to break the bank. There are options. And it's an area where I love to help as much as I can. Beautiful wedding stationery doesn't have to be etched on leather or wrapped up in gold filigree to impress your guests. If you're having a hard time making these decisions, let's schedule a time to chat . There's no obligation. We can look at all the options and hopefully settle on something that makes sense for ALL your guests + your budget. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Twelve drummers drumming, Eleven pipers piping, Ten Lords a leaping, Nine Ladies dancing, Eight maids a-milking, Seven swans a swimming, Six geese a-laying, Five golden rings, Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, And a ... secretary to keep us sane through all the wedding paper stress!

I know you've probably seen " Oz, the Great and Powerful" and other spin-offs, but please tell me you've seen the original "Wizard of Oz." The one where Dorothy is whisked off by a tornado to the land of Oz and has to click her heels together while saying, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home," to get back to Kansas and all the people she loves. I know I'm going to age myself with what I'm about to share next, but my grandsons already know that I'm older than the internet, so there's no point denying it! I remember the Christmas when we got our first color TV. (In all honesty, I don't remember our black and white TV - I just know we must've had one.) But on Christmas day, after the dinner was all cleared away, my parents and grandparents congregated in the living room and prepared me for the grand color TV reveal, via Judy Garland's classic role in "The Wizard of Oz." Of course, they knew something about the movie that I didn't. So when everything started in black and white, I was very confused and suggested to my dad that maybe his brand new color TV was broken. I was encouraged to keep watching and, to my delight (another spoiler alert), when Dorothy went over the rainbow, the screen sprang to life in full, vibrant color and I was mesmerized! And although the colors were rich, and the ruby slippers were gorgeous, and the yellow brick road was fun to travel and she had her faithful Toto to keep her company, it seemed that Dorothy really just wanted to go home. Thus her trip to see the big, scary Wizard who, once the curtain is pulled back, turns out to be "a very good man, but a very bad wizard." I love to travel and explore and coming home is almost always a bit of a let down for me so, truth be told, I've often wondered what Dorothy's problem was. I have a son who can relate to Dorothy though. We took all the kids and my parents to DisneyWorld when he was about four years old - the "happiest place on earth" that he seemed to be enjoying just as much as his siblings. But as I was putting him to bed on the second night at the hotel, he asked me when we were going home. (Unfortunately for him, we had another full five days planned...but I think we found ways to entertain him!) Am I rambling? Possibly. But I do have a point to make. I want you to know that, even if we've never met, you can trust and pay attention to the (wo)man behind The Bride's Secretary digital curtain. Why? Well, here's a few things you should know about me - and I'll provide you with real, live, non-AI people references if you want. You can trust that I really love weddings. You can trust that when a couple invites me to be a small part and prelude to their wedding celebration, I'm thrilled - even more than the representatives of the Lollipop Guild were to welcome Dorothy to Munchkin Land. And how can you doubt the sincerity of a Munchkin? You can trust that making your wedding stationery come alive in full color is just as important to me as it is to you. You can trust that when I say you can keep changing your mind until the printing deadline, I mean it and won't give you attitude about it. You can trust that my Type A personality will have you both double and triple checking your guest list for spelling mistakes before we print any envelopes. You can trust that your website will reflect as many of the stationery decisions you make as possible, even if getting it that way requires more hours than I put in your contract (and without charging you extra.) You can trust that I'll do everything to provide you with a beautiful, quality product that works within your budget and you can trust that the price I'm quoting you for your stationery printing is my cost - there are no mark-ups. (BTW: Have you seen my new printing price list ?) You can trust that I'll only settle for an A+ product and I'll require that the printer re-run any stationery piece that I'm not happy with. And you can trust that, more than likely, I'll reach out to you the day before the wedding to let you know that I'm thinking about YOUR big day but definitely after the wedding to see if it was everything you dreamed it would be! With the dizzying pace of AI development these days, it's not always easy to trust that a photo you're looking at or a video you're watching or even a blog post you're reading is authentic and un-doctored. So it's reasonable to have some trust issues when it comes to believing the claims of a graphic designer and secretary you've never met. But, as a sole proprietor, it behooves me to follow-through on all that I promise understanding that, if something goes wrong and I don't fix it, you'll never refer me to any of your friends. Or worse - you'll leave a less-than-desirable Google rating for all the world to read. So, as I mentioned earlier, if you'd like to chat with a real live customer, just let me know and I'll get you their information. And no - I won't be the woman behind the curtain projecting a giant, fake {wizard} customer who is actually my DH, sister or best friend. Or worse - me with a nom de plume. My conscience wouldn't let me sleep. And you don't want to see me after a night of no sleep. Trust me!!

No exceptional prose this week. Just a free download for those of you looking for guidance on the timeline for your wedding stationery. Also, a reminder that I can relieve a ton of stress, frustration and time loss by organizing your stationery calendar for you . Plus dealing with all those printers. And addressing for the post office. And calling your guests who haven't sent in their RSVP. And... Download your PDF file here: Have a great week ... and if you're in the Chicago area this weekend, come and visit me on Sunday from 11 am - 3 pm at the Bridal Expo in the Marriott O'Hare ( 8535 W Higgins Rd, Chicago, IL 60631). Drawings and discounts available. Plus the opportunity to meet the woman behind the blog curtain!

I had such a wonderful time last Sunday at a Bridal Expo in Chicago. Being around all the beautiful dresses, flower displays and photographers' galleries gets me excited and impatient for my youngest son's wedding (do we still have to wait seven more months?) But I also love chatting with Brides and Grooms who are anticipating one of their best days ever. Regardless of how far into the planning process they are - and I'm talking about a few couples who aren't even engaged yet - you ask them anything related to their wedding and they light up like Christmas trees. And they gush as they share their plans, although I'm sure a couple of them would object to me using the word "gush!" But I'm sticking with it. Isn't that how you'd expect it to be? Weddings are celebrations...and celebrations should be fun and exciting. Even if you don't consider yourself to be a very emotional/romantic person (apparently actuaries get married too!), talking about your wedding should still put a smile on your face. Especially if you're planning something that's a long way outside the norm. Like the Bride who couldn't wait to share that she's having a Star Wars themed wedding. Although I didn't admit to her to having NEVER seen a Star Wars movie all the way through - I've learned that Star Wars fans can be rabid in their support of the franchise - I did admit that I was a Trekkie! After everyone in her group gasped audibly - I know some of you are doing the same thing as you read my confession - I asked if they would be having lightsabers as part of the ceremony. That lightened the mood and they promised they wouldn't hold the Trekkie thing against me. Whew! Apparently my comment gave them hope for me, since only an educated Trekkie would understand what a lightsaber was. To avoid digging my hole any deeper however, I refrained from pointing out the superiority of phasers. In all honesty, I'm hoping she's genuinely looking for help with her stationery because how much fun will that be? Would it be appropriate to ask if the ring bearer will be a baby Yoda? (And if you are that Bride, please know that sarcasm is one of my love languages!) Before I alienate any more of you - you got that, right? - I want you to know that, regardless of the simplicity or lavishness of your wedding celebration, my goal is to provide every Bride a stationery suite she can be proud of, especially custom stationery for themed weddings. Stationery that captures any or all of these: venue/location color scheme flowers (or lack thereof) theme personal style something only you've thought of And a stationery suite is not just Save the Dates, Invitations and RSVP cards. It includes menus, programs, seating charts, welcome signs, place cards, banners, guest books, thank you cards...any printed thing you might need. I'm here to make sure that everything is designed to complement each other for a cohesive look, all while elevating your unique wedding and reception. Right down to individually addressing each envelope with the same font and graphic layout. Curious what that would mean to you, whether you're six months or two years away from the date? Then let's talk ! And if you mention the name of your favorite Star Trek captain (Enterprise or otherwise), l'll discount your invoice by 15%. Talk about out of this world! On a final note, today's blog is fondly written in honor of Forrest & Deborah Fisher . I'm already thinking of you with today's topic, so I might as well mention you! Miss you!

When I got married several (okay more than several) years ago in South Africa, we didn't have things such as wedding planners. Usually the bride and her mom handled it all. (My mom even made my wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses and her own outfit! Miss that woman so much!) But I think that weddings were a lot more basic, unless my mom was way more stressed than she let on. There wasn't a venue to decorate - we got married in the church and some church ladies set out flowers, etc. Receptions were held at community centers and the setup and decorations were simple. Meals were served buffet-style - unless you could afford a hotel or country club. But I have learned that the modern American wedding is much more elaborate than that. The list of vendors to choose from is impressive. And over and over I see brides comment on how grateful they were to have hired a wedding planner or day-of-event coordinator. I get it. My friend Marsha owns Distinctly Yours Weddings & Events and when I hear of some of the things she does to take stress off the bride or adapt to unexpected...everything, it's clear that she's worth every penny! It's that peace of mind thing. (I wonder how she would have handled the situation where one of the flower & candle sprays on the stage at my friend's wedding burst into flames 5 minutes before she walked down the aisle? Fortunately the head usher had the presence of mind to remove the spray from the stage before he blasted it with a fire extinguisher!) But I'm not a wedding planner - I'm a wedding secretary . What the heck is the difference?. And why would I need a secretary? I'm glad you asked. Unlike a planner, I only handle a specific area of the wedding. Starting with the process of designing your print products - from save-the-date cards through to day-of signage - so that they all complement each other and provide a beautiful visual that's unique to your special day. Why force your wedding into someone else's template? Sometimes that requires working with more than one printer. Most of the time it requires an understanding of the different paper types and sizes and turnaround times. All the time it requires knowing what printers to avoid and navigating any orders that need to be reprinted. It also includes guidance with font choices and purchasing an accurate quantity of each item (e.g. 100 guests does not = 100 invitations - a common mistake.) But I don't just design your stationery and then send it to the printer for you to pick up or receive in the mail. I am the Bride's Secretary , providing professional secretarial services. I manage your calendar by making sure that your products all meet individual printer and mailing deadlines. I build and maintain your wedding website and help with the procurement of accurate addresses for your guest list. I individually address, stuff and mail your save-the-date cards, invitations and anything else that requires mailing. I keep track of your RSVPs from guests - even having them mailed to my business if you want. When the RSVP deadline has come and gone, I place phone calls to those who haven't responded so that you can have a more accurate count for your caterer. (Reminder: an average of 25-30% of your guest list won't RSVP. Those are easy phone calls for me because I don't have a relationship with any of your guests. So what would be a 3 minute phone call for me could be a 10-15 minute phone call for you. Multiply that by 25 and the question is - do you really want to be spending that much time on phone calls just a few weeks before the wedding?) I make myself available for last-minute "print" crises (think extra menus or table signs or programs...) In summary... Do you NEED a wedding planner ? No, but they're wonderful to have and worth every penny. Similarly... Do you NEED a wedding secretary ? No - but I'm wonderful to have and I'll prove that I'm worth every penny. Just ask some of my customers. So let's connect ! It doesn't cost anything to ask questions. And if you can accurately guess the year (give or take) of my wedding from the photo at the top, I'll apply a 10% discount to your quote. Wowsers - not only worth every penny but saving you some pennies too - at the expense of you figuring out how old I am!

In a previous post ( To Save or Not to Save, That is the Question ) I talked about if and/or when to send out Save the Date cards to your guests. Hopefully that helped you make the ultimate decision on what works for you. But if you do decide that's one of the pieces you want to have in your stationery suite (yes, it is definitely optional), let's consider a few more things. Timing Never send a Save the Date card more than 11 months in advance. Why? Imagine this scenario. Your wedding is October 31, 2025. You send out Save the Date cards at the beginning of October 2024. They arrive in Aunt Mildred's mailbox by October 15, 2024...and she goes into a panic, thinking your wedding is in two weeks! You can say it's because she didn't read the card carefully enough, and you would be right. But if you're inviting her, it's probably because you love her. So love her (and all your guests) by sending your cards out a maximum of 11 months before the big day, e.g. for the above October 31, 2025 wedding, the earliest you should send your announcement is November 2024. Unless you're having a destination wedding, it's more appropriate to send them between six and eight months prior to the wedding. This gives your guests a heads up and still leaves the appropriate eight to ten weeks prior mailing time for your actual invitations. Sending the Save-the-Date card too early can cause problems you weren't anticipating. Is your date and location securely locked down - or will you have to send an updated version with corrected date/location? It's okay to send one out that simply includes your names, the date and the town without specific times and addresses. And is your guest list as definite as you could make it - or will you have to awkwardly wiggle out of an implied invitation? [Insert yucky face here.] Style If you stick with the definition of a "formal" save-the-date card, then your design may be more minimalist than you could imagine. Formal = cards with only verbiage, no graphics or embellishments. (And think about that - if your card has only lettering, spelling mistakes will stick out even more than a sore thumb so inviting multiple proofreaders is a necessity!) "Informal" save-the-dates can then go in any direction you want, including things like photos, graphic elements and cute wording. Personal note: keeping the font and layout similar to your invitations, etc., creates a more cohesive stationery suite. Sharing your love story with your guests may be a very personal touch you'd like to add, but I would caution you to either: a. Use the back side of the card for that, leaving only important details on the front side OR b. Put a link (or QR code) to your wedding website where they can read about how you met...and lots more. (I can help you do that. Email me !) Etiquette If someone receives a Save-the-Date card, you MUST follow up with an actual wedding invitation. So your guest list should be mostly finalized by this time. BUT, in case you didn't know, it is also okay to NOT send Save-the-Date cards to everyone on your list. Consider sending them only to people whose presence you view as essential and skip those that you're hoping will attend but you'll be okay if they can't. (This is a good way to stretch your stationery dollars. And sending it as a postcard is another budget-friendly approach to take.) Stationery While you may only have to choose between formal or informal wording, what you print your Save-the-Date cards on is as personal as your choice of wedding dress. Paper options are limitless. Printing techniques also offer many options. You just have to decide on your budget. Your Save-the-Date cards can be personal and memorable without having to break the bank! As a custom designer of stationery suites, I pride myself in being someone who listens to your needs and ideas, offers multiple options until we find the right one for you, and promises to deliver a suite that will WOW your guests, no matter how simple or minimalist you want them to be. Weddings are planned to be a beautiful event, hopefully meeting all the ways you ever dreamed it would be. And The Bride's Secretary wants to be a part of that. But since weddings are not the only events that are celebrated, I have birthed an offshoot of this business to include those non-wedding options - My Event Secretary . And so to take advantage of its grand opening, I'm offering a 15% discount to any bride who purchases an all-in-one package from The Bride's Secretary. Got questions? You don't have to save the date with me; we can talk anytime with no strings attached. Email me .

Bridezilla. We've all heard the term. What does it bring to mind? A bride throwing a tantrum during her dress shopping. When her bridesmaids don't plan the bachelorette party she feels she deserves. When her parents or fiancé won't pay to have the perfect color of rose shipped in from an English garden. A bride throwing tantrums. Bottom line, that's a Bridezilla. You just have to audibly gasp when you read some of these TRUE stories: " I lost some weight between the time I agreed to be a bridesmaid and the wedding. Well, the bride threw me out of the wedding party because she wanted to be the skinny one on the stage!" "The father of the bride had a heart attack, and as he was being carried out on the stretcher, the sobbing bride yelled, 'How could you ruin my wedding like this?!'" "After the ceremony was over, the bride informed us that in order to save money, the wedding party wouldn't be served a meal along with the rest of the guests. She said, 'You already had the privilege of being in my wedding —what more can you ask for?'" "The bride was blonde, and all the bridesmaids were brunette except me, so the bride asked me to dye my hair brown for the wedding because she wanted to be the only blonde." Thanks to Liucija Adomaite and Ilona Baliūnaitė from BoredPanda for this compilation. There are plenty more examples in their article to enjoy...and if you want a good giggle, they also include the responses some of the brides received. https://www.boredpanda.com/bridesmaids-bridezilla-stories/ But tantrums can also come in the form of passive-aggressive speech or behavior. And it's just as stressful for everyone. Or maybe more so. At least when a bride is throwing a tantrum, you know what it's about, what's upsetting her and how she wants everyone to tow the line and fix it for her. But that passive-aggressive behavior is in the same monster category. She just says bridezilla things in a gentler, quieter voice and leaves you wondering if she's really upset or not, what she's upset about, your part in upsetting her and how to fix it if you can (that is, if you even want to after all of her shenanigans!) Where do I see Bridezillas in the stationery aspect of the wedding? I won't bore you with the obvious ones - like who makes it on the guest list or offending family and friends with the wording on the invitation. But there is one area in particular where that passive-aggressive monster comes out to terrorize. The headache of the RSVP. A while back, a wedding planner friend of mine sent me this clip: https://images.app.goo.gl/nkghgdYhFtA4oSz78 I had actually already read the Bride's post on one of my wedding Facebook groups. And I was flabbergasted. I get the invitation RSVP headache. No, seriously, I do. I get it that your vendors need numbers ahead of the big day, which translates to money. I get it that you tried to simplify the RSVP process by providing a QR code on the invitation or a self-addressed (expensively) stamped card they can just take less than a minute to complete and drop it in a mailbox. I get it, really I do. But let's think about this. Approximately 20% of guests (on average) will decline the invitation. Of those who accept the invitation, approximately 5-10% won't attend anyway for a variety of reasons. (Hint - LIFE HAPPENS!) So for everyone who declines or no-shows...are you going to send them a bill for the catering cost? Or how about charging a fee from those who did attend to help offset the cost of those who didn't? I hope you're honing in on my sarcasm about how ludicrous these questions are. They are your GUESTS. They're not throwing the wedding and reception - you are. It's not their big day - it's yours. YOU don't have the option of not showing up. There will still be a wedding if a (larger than you expected) percentage doesn't show. So what am I going on about? Let's keep things in perspective, people. The statistics are out there - plan accordingly. But even if you plan well...statistics also say that 25-30% of guests WON'T RSVP so you're left to wonder. Talk about stressful. SO PLAN FOR THAT TOO. You are not the first bride to have this happen - don't take it personally. Why are we all so easily offended these days? If you're inviting someone, it's generally assumed it's because you like each other. Do you really think they're saying to themselves, "Well, I've decided that I want to give my friend the gift of stress, so I won't RSVP?" Of course not. So being a passive-aggressive bridezilla posting about RSVP deadlines on FB is not going to relieve any of your stress. It just makes you sound rude. And catty. And snarky. Do you REALLY want to put that vibe out there for all the world to see? Do you think it's going to make those who didn't respond suddenly do so? I. Don't. Think. So. So... STOP IT ! Passive-aggressive behavior will not a more perfect wedding day make. It'll just prove that you are the bridezilla that you've condemned others for being. STOP IT ! If your mother or your bridesmaids won't say it, I am... STOP IT ! If you are a MOB or bridesmaid and don't want to have that conversation, send her to this blog and I'll tell her she needs to STOP IT ! Because I have a stress-reducing solution. Let me make those RSVP follow-up phone calls for you. Seriously. "Uh, excuse me?" Yup - seriously. I can take that stress off your plate. You don't have to spend hours making phone calls; I'll do that for you. That's why my business isn't just about stationery design - it's about all the time-saving services too. Addressing and mailing. Keeping your wedding website current. Managing your guest list. And calling those who haven't sent in their RSVP so you can have more accurate numbers for all your vendors. (If I call and leave a message and they don't call me back, I'll just keep calling; it's not going to offend me. I don't even know these people.) With this current culture we live in, I'm sure my comments in this post have offended some of you. And I'm sorry you're offended. But I'm not sorry I said it. So whether you're offended or not, reach out and let me help. As an encouragement to you to fight off that passive-aggressive bridezilla brewing beneath the surface, through the end of September, I'll give you a 15% discount on any of my secretarial services. Even if I didn't design your stationery. Isn't that a good trade for the stress? Email me . Now I have to leave you. I have a lovely friend's wedding on Saturday and I need to go shopping. She's expecting me. I sent in my RSVP. Wait! Did I?

My DH and I recently made one of our semi-annual trips to Chicago to enjoy a weekend of live theater. We were able to get tickets to Fiddler on the Roof at the Drury Lane Theater and it was beyond fabulous! Within the first few bars of the opening number, I was quickly reminded (as were the people around me) why it's one of my favorite musicals! There are several iconic songs from this musical, such as "If I were a rich man..." or "Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match..." (Ask your mom - I'm sure she can hum a few bars.) But the opening number "Tradition!" is the song that sets up the major theme for the villagers in a Russian town trying to continue their traditions and keep their society running as the world around them changes. And no one feels it more than the main character, Tevye. His commitment to tradition is challenged as his daughters seek to break with tradition and marry for love rather than through arranged unions. There are few things more replete with traditions than weddings. And weddings are, by their very nature, chock-full of emotions. It's no wonder, then, that wedding traditions can cause some of the largest points of contention in a family or stress for the bride. What's the definition of a tradition? I jumped over to Dictionary.com and this is what I found. something that is handed down a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices When I was a young bride some 35 years ago, wedding traditions brought me more comfort than stress. After hearing stories from my mom and grandma, I was familiar with the way they had "done things" and knew what they probably expected from me by default. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Walking down the church aisle on my dad's arm. My sister and only female cousin as my bridesmaids. And true enough, these were all the things I planned to do and looked forward to. But DH and I also wanted to add taking communion together as part of the ceremony. I'll never forget the look on my mom's face when she said, "You can't do that!" (I grew up Presbyterian.) So she was equally shocked when I told her that we'd talked to Rev. Gray and he thought it was a wonderful idea. I loved my mom (I miss her so much) and I never wanted to upset her. But this was very important to my DH and me as the "two shall become one"... and it turned out to be a beautiful part of our ceremony. Now here I am 35 years later and the mother of the groom. And I am genuinely shocked by the feelings of "Tradition!" that rise in me every time my son and his bride talk about doing something I've never heard of or thought of. "What are they thinking? They can't do that!" Hmmm...where have I heard that before? So why am I rambling so much about this anyway? I guess it's because I feel stuck between two worlds now, just like Tevye. I loved MY wedding traditions handed down through the generations and it only makes sense that my son and his bride should do it that way too. I mean, why wouldn't they? (Insert dramatic gesture and exclamation here.) But I also loved the special intimacy that sharing Communion brought to our ceremony, not part of the tradition at all. Yes, I clearly see the hypocrisy here. Why wouldn't I expect my son and his bride to do things that were very different "from the way we did it?" For example, my son and his bride are currently serving in mission work overseas so we've been doing a lot of wedding stuff via text, email, WhatsApp, you name it. His sweet bride has welcomed me in to participate in all the planning even though I'm the MIL and so group chats/text, etc., just make sense! Just recently we had a conversation that involved her dress and she shared some photos of things that she liked and a couple that she'd seen in local dress shops where she's living. I had a sudden moment of panic. "Please tell me you haven't shown these photos to my son!!??!!" "Why, should I not do that?" she asks so sweetly. And I'm trying to type NO so fast that autocorrect gets involved. Doesn't she know he's not supposed to see it till she walks down the aisle? Uhmmm, where is it written that she can't show him the dress before the wedding? (Crickets!) Tradition - sing it Tevye! Because of my business AND my current role as MOG, I've joined a whole bunch of FB groups. And TRADITION is the word that gets thrown around a whole bunch and causes most friction. MOBs venting to other moms about why their daughters aren't doing things a certain way. Brides who are stressed out because they want to know what the traditional wording is for their invitation to keep their families happy. And leave it to social media to allow people to loudly vent comments like, "Do what you want, it's your wedding, not hers.""Uh, back off mom, it's her wedding, not yours. I made sure my daughter was free to do what made her happy." Everyone's story is different ~ some brides' parents can afford to pay for the whole thing, some brides don't even talk to their parents, some brides hate all the stress and just want to elope, some brides struggle to make any decisions at all because they don't want to upset anyone, and some brides know exactly what they want and don't care who they upset in the process of getting it. So, if you land on the doorstep of The Bride's Secretary because you want to know the traditionally correct way to handle your invitations, I'll tell you. I'll tell you that, in this generation, traditions are much more fluid than they used to be. I'll tell you that traditional wording is influenced by so many factors: culture, formality, personality, type of wedding, type of guest, family relationships...and so on. And I'll tell you that what is appropriate, traditional wording for one MOB, is not traditional for another. And what one Bride cares about saying seems totally ridiculous to another. So instead of telling you...I'll ask you to consider some questions first. Do you see the invitation as a way to show love and gratitude to your parents by including their names? Are you prepared that feelings might be hurt if you don't? Will you even ask their thoughts on the subject? Do you want to carefully invite "no children" but your MOH is a mother of toddlers? Are you getting a headache yet? Because I think I am! Yes, there's value in tradition and it can make decision-making easier because someone has already told you how it should be. But in a culture where, not too long ago, we had all these videos circulating, showing mob weddings that the groom had arranged to the complete surprise of the bride, giving her only moments to put on a dress - almost anything goes. So let's talk about what kind of "traditional wording" YOU'RE looking for. Old-fashioned, modern or a hybrid? But for heaven's sake, don't keep stressing about your stationery all alone. Talk to me. We'll find the perfect wording (and match it with just the right, very legible font.) Getting help with this area of your wedding is a good idea. Just ask your mom!

I'm a font junky. There, I said it. I have a weird addiction. Everything I read - and I mean EVERYTHING - runs through my internal font filter before my brain even finishes reading the words for their meaning and context. Thoughts like: "Ooo, that's nice. I wonder what it's called and where I can get it?" "Why on earth did they choose that font?" "I love the way they mixed those font choices together!" "Really? That font? On a billboard where people have 3 seconds to read it?" "Yes, it's beautiful but do they realize how much work it's causing my eyes and brain?" "Perfect font choice! Well done!" "I'm familiar with TLDR (too long didn't read) but this is a WFCR (wrong font couldn't read.)" Yes, it's noisy in my head sometimes! {Insert technical nerd stuff here.} Did you know that there are over half a million fonts in the world? So obviously I'm not the only one who appreciates the vast variety of typefaces. In fact, there's even a font psychology - the study of how different typefaces impact human emotions and perception - something that [good] advertisers use well. Fonts are a visual element; just as important as graphics and images. {Nerd stuff ends.} What on earth does this have to do with wedding invitations? EVERYTHING! Just because a font is swirly and evokes feelings of romance does not mean it belongs on a Save the Date, Invitation, RSVP card or any other part of your stationery suite. Not all handwritten, calligraphy or brush fonts are created equal. Case in point. I was redesigning a website for a friend recently and one of the ways she wanted it updated was the font choice. Just like color schemes or clothing styles, fonts can "date" a website. While she was playing around on Pinterest, she came across this beautifully feminine font, advertised as one of the "fonts of the year." And she loved it and asked me to use it. I downloaded it and started working on the different pages, only to find that her beautiful font worked when it was used for one or two words as a header. When I used it in a paragraph, the text was barely legible - unless you zoomed in to 300%! And since most websites for businesses like hair salons are viewed on mobile devices, that wasn't an option at all. This can also translate to those online invitation templates. Just because a graphic designer put the template together, doesn't mean you should assume their font choices are perfect. Same rule of thumb as the website - if you have to zoom in to read the words on the template because of the font, imagine what it would look like printed on an invitation where you can only zoom in by using your mom's trifocals. To their credit, a lot of the modern invitations that have minimal imagery or none at all, use clean sans serif fonts that are a lot easier to read - like this one. Your eye doesn't have to strain because letters look the way your modern brain expects them to. But have you ever tried to read the Declaration of Independence? Unless you work with those kinds of documents every day, your eyes really struggle to make sense of all the squiggles. Why? Because we don't write like that anymore. Actually, how many of us write at all? My youngest son graduated high school a couple of years ago and, through 12 years of schooling, he'd had less than a year of formal training in longhand cursive. Yikes! But then his world communicates through a keyboard. Apart from his signature - and Adobe will create one of those for you too - or being able to read handwritten letters from his mom, I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. But there's no reason for us to replace bad penmanship with bad font choices. When I'm designing for customers, here are some things I'm always thinking about: Do I have it saved in my Preferred Fonts folder? (Yes, I have one of those!) Does the font "fit" the theme of their layout? (e.g. a newspaper with headlines in the infamous Walt Disney font! Newspaper reporters don't want you to be thinking about Mickey Mouse when you're reading their report on a murder investigation.) If I'm using a script-type font, does it work for both the larger focal points, like the names, and the smaller ones? (e.g. "Dick & Jane" vs. "You're invited to the wedding of") If I'm using more than one font (since script-type fonts rarely look good in all sizes), does the simpler font feel complementary? Or are they fighting against each other? If I'm using a script-type font, do the number options in that font read as well as the letters? (e.g. Saturday, May 30 - what does the 3 and the zero look like? Most script-type fonts are created for letters, so usually I need to use a different font for the numbers.) My friend with the website redesign project trusted me enough to not insist on using the font she'd found online. And my hope for all of my customers is that, with my love for all things font and 20+ years of experience, they can trust me with the font choices I make for their stationery. The perfect font can be a beautiful thing. And your wedding stationery should be a beautiful thing. If you're not 100% satisfied with the look of your DIY invitations (web template or otherwise), contact me for a free evaluation ... and I'll give you 25% off the cost to redesign it. Because I love weddings and I love font. Because I'm the Bride's Secretary: the wedding gift you give yourself!