To save or not to save, that is the question.

No, the question I'm asking is not about saving a slice of the wedding cake in the freezer for your one year anniversary. (Do young brides do that these days? Refer to last week's blogs on Traditions!)

I'm talking about those Save the Date cards. Although they have become a common part of wedding preparations, they really haven't been a "thing" for very long - very long being relative to how old you are, of course! (Let's just agree on post-hippie, pre-Google.) Save the Date cards began to emerge as a formal concept when couples started to plan destination weddings or weddings during busy seasons. The purpose was to provide guests with plenty of notice to reserve the date and make necessary travel arrangements.

But they have moved beyond just date reminders to become ways for couples to share engagement photos and more...sometimes even brief snapshots of when and where they met or how their relationship developed.

Are they necessary? Absolutely not. Are they nice to receive? Absolutely.

So how do you decide IF you should send them? And if the answer is yes, WHEN or HOW should you send them?

The easiest reason to decide yes is if you are planning a destination wedding. A Save the Date card puts your wedding day in the forefront of their thoughts, at least for a while. Hopefully long enough for them to start deciding if they can attend, which then precipitates asking for time off work and making airline reservations. And so, if this is why you're sending them, 7-8 months ahead of the wedding is a good idea. Or more if your destination is, let's say, Fiji, in which case I want an invitation too! (And so does my DH.) Just make sure your guests have a reliable way to contact you if they need additional information.

If you have room in your budget and want to make an impact on your guests by getting the most visibility bang for your buck, send your Save the Date as a fridge magnet. Yup, so your announcement is going on that place in the house where everyone visits at least 3 or 4 times a day (or more if they have those teenage people living with them.) The goal, obviously, is to keep reminding them over and over again. And giving them plenty of reason to be too embarrassed to say they forgot.

If you decide no on sending them for any reason, budget or otherwise, you can always send out a digital Save the Date (email/WhatsApp/texts). Of course, remember that announcing your engagement on social media will spread the news like wildfire! Just make sure that, when you decide on a date, you only announce it to the people you plan to invite, not the 723 people who follow you on Instagram! And don't forget those grandmas and great aunts - the ones who've wondered if you'll ever get married and have spent most of their lives in the pre-internet era - might be more appreciative of a written note or phone call

So you've decided you should send them? Then here are some things to consider.

• Before you send them, make sure your official guest list has been finalized, based on how many you can and want to accommodate (space and food.) Because it probably goes without saying but I'll say it anyway - once those Save the Date cards are sent, it's expected that those who receive them will be invited to the wedding.

• They should be brief and to the point. Include essential information only, i.e. your names (duh!), the date (another duh!), and the general location. If you add more event-specific details, then you're actually sending a pre-invitation invitation. And that's a waste of energy, time and money!

• Save the Date cards are part of your wedding stationery. If you've already started working on the invitations, your cards could contain similar layout features. And - shameless plug here but I mean, this is MY website - I happen to know someone who's skilled in coordinating all your stationery pieces to fit your unique style, color scheme, theme, etc. (see https://www.thebridessecretary.com/packages)

• Avoid overly elaborate designs that may overshadow the important details. (I could start a font rant here, but I won't. Message me if you want to know what I'm talking about!)

• As with your invitations, make sure you only buy what you need. If your guest list is 100, chances are high you may need less than 70 cards.

• Use spellcheck. Proofread. Then have two other people proofread. And for heaven's sake, proofread again! Am I making my point?

To send or not to send? Let me count the ways...and tell you, the final decision is actually up to you! As long as it's proofread. (If you do decide it's a yes, send me an email and mention you read this post; I'll design your Save the Date cards for free and give you 10% off the printing costs. belinda@thebridessecretary.com.)